Dear Bella,

You probably already know something is wrong. That you’re sick and not yourself. You were probably confused when we brought you to a new vet and they did so many tests on you. You were so patient while they did blood work, an ultrasound of your heart, and biopsy after biopsy. After your third visit there you started to familiarize yourself to it, to the people, and you liked it. You’re always the happiest dog no matter the situation. You happily went into a room by yourself to be hooked up to a machine that pumped chemo through you. You would sit so patiently for twenty minutes at a time. You’d rush out wiggling your bum and smiling at us waiting for you. For the days after you’d be so tired that I felt so guilty for putting you through it. But all that didn’t work. Your cancer was too strong for the chemo and after six weeks there’s nothing else we can do. Now we’re going to spend the time we have left with you focusing on each minute to try and make it the best.

All I want is to slow time down for you. It’s going to disappear way to quickly and I want to truly be present in each moment with you. To remember every little detail about you and look back on all the sweet memories we’ve made.

You probably already know something is wrong. That’s why you let me hug you a little longer and a little harder. You lay a little closer and give extra kisses at night. You know how much I love you and I know how much you love me. You might not fully understand how much you enhanced my life. That you were a light on dark days and made good days great. But having you in our lives has made all of this a little easier. Knowing your life was full of happiness and love is all we could ask for. You’ll be in our hearts forever and I hope you know that.

Love you my silly goose,

xxLaura