I was thinking the other day about marriages. About the relationship after the wedding. I spend a lot of my time photographing couples on their wedding day and I see people in these beautiful moments, so in love and beyond happy. They are obsessed with each other and you can see the spark in their eyes. But I started to think about that spark and how to keep it strong. In particular, I thought of this with my own marriage. It’s not like my husband and I have been married for a long time or anything but we have been together for almost 6 years so we’ve grown a lot and have been through a lot and I never want our spark to fade away.
I thought about my husband, about how we are with each other and then I started to think about myself this past year. To be honest, I don’t feel like I’ve been the best wife/girlfriend/partner this past year and a lot of that has to do with balance. I went from a set 8-hour day to working irregular hours plus I’ve been doing contract work for a non-profit. Add in a mini social life,
working out, taking care of my dog, and maybe some me time and I don’t have a lot of energy left. I consider myself a workaholic – same approach I put into shopping ;) so I will often put my work first or work until someone tells me to stop and usually that person is my husband. Majority of the time he comes home from work and he gets to spend time with the side of me that’s tired, sore, and just wants to complain. I see this and I want to change it. If the role was reversed I could see that spark fading in time. When I spend time with my friends they get the fun version of me. I’m awake, I’m interested and I’m happy. I know I don’t get that much time with them so I want it to be the best when I do. But with my husband I see him everyday. The need to be fun and energized all the time doesn’t seem as strong. Not to say I can’t be bummed out or tired around him, but that side of me shouldn’t be around 24/7. It’s not fair to him to give 100% all the time to my work and then leave nothing for him.
It brings me back to having better balance with things in my life. Of course I have to work like crazy, that’s what you do when you start a business, but I also need to prioritize and put the same energy I put into my work into my relationship. This will always be something that requires work and effort, especially in these first years, but I’m happy to recognize it and to know that it’s something I can control to make sure that spark is never lost.